This is a joke.
Deploy Horoscope is a novelty project built for fun. It does not actually know whether you should deploy today. The stars do not have opinions about your CI/CD pipeline. Mercury being in retrograde is not a valid reason to skip a release, although it is an excellent excuse.
How the "predictions" actually work
Your verdict is computed from a SHA-256 hash of your zodiac sign and today's date, then adjusted by real moon phases, real retrograde windows, planetary harmony tables, and a Friday penalty — because deploying on a Friday is genuinely inadvisable regardless of celestial alignment. Birthdate adds a further deterministic nudge, and may also soften the Friday penalty by up to 25 points on certain weeks that simply suit you better. Notable calendar dates (Halloween, Christmas, Easter weekend, Lunar New Year, your birthday, and others) apply their own bonuses, debuffs, and flavour text. On April Fools' Day, the verdict text will lie to you. The result is always deterministic: same inputs, same answer. There is no magic — except possibly on April 1st, when there is exactly as much magic as you deserve.
What the chart actually shows
The natal chart is a decorative SVG. The twelve coloured house sectors (DEPLOY, ROLLBACK, THE DB, and friends) are labelled by deployment domain purely for atmosphere — they do not correspond to real astrological houses. Planet positions are computed from simplified mean-motion orbital mechanics relative to J2000, so they are roughly correct but not ephemeris-grade. Aspect lines (trines, squares, oppositions, conjunctions) are real geometry between those positions. If you provided a location, the lines are drawn slightly bolder as a nod to local sky influence — this affects nothing else.
The API
There is a JSON API at /api/reading. It returns the same deterministic reading as the website. It is rate-limited to 1 request per minute per IP because this is a joke project, not infrastructure. Please do not build anything serious on top of it. If you do, we are not responsible for the consequences, and neither are the stars.
Do not make real decisions based on this.
If your deployment strategy currently involves checking a horoscope, you may want to invest more in your monitoring, rollback procedures, and feature flags — not necessarily in that order. A green verdict here does not mean your database migration is safe. A red verdict does not mean it isn't.
Your data
Your zodiac sign, birthdate, and — if you chose to share it — your city and approximate latitude are stored in cookies on your own browser and never sent to any third party or database. The city name is looked up once via Nominatim (OpenStreetMap's free geocoding service) when you click Detect, and then the server forgets the coordinates immediately. No location data is logged or retained.
Built with ♥ and an unreasonable amount of SVG string concatenation by Alex Rembish.
No planets were harmed in the making of this application.